Worst Jokes Ever
I love ❤️ dogs.
What is a dog that does not walk? A magic dog.
What time is it when you walk home from school? Time to rest.
What do you give a sick bird?
Tweet-ment!
Where did the mouse go?
To the mouse-um!
Why didn't anyone laugh at pizza jokes?
Because they were too cheesy!
What time is it when it gets dark out?
Bed time.
Why don’t orphans play football?
They have no home field.
If you put your foot in a pond, your foot will get wet.
No joke, I just wasted about 5 or 6 seconds of your life.
What do you call a person who cares for chickens?
A chicken tender.
Why is drinking soda so sad?
It's soda-pressing.
What's the difference between acne and a priest?
Acne waits until you're a teen to cum on your face.
I sometimes want rampage, but what good would that do?
I look for a way out, but there's not even a light shining through.
The times where all is dark, are the times that I need a mark.
Though people say that nobody will care, the truth is: there's always one who's fair.
That person may not be the one you expect, but I am here with a passion to redirect.
Once there was a time where I tried to end it all, because I only looked on the dark side.
Truth was I wanted to be heard, to be respected, to let someone know.
But that was in the past and this isn't about my dark ride, it's time for others to know that only a few words, can extinguish a glow.
I tried my best to think of some puns, but I'm gonna have tibia honest: I don't have any puns left, but I'm pretty sternum, so I'll think of a few puns here and there. It took a lot of spine to do this.
Two windmills were standing in a wind farm. One asked, "What's your favorite type of music?" The other one replied... "I'm a big metal fan."
There was a man. He came home with his friends from the bar and man was he ever wasted! Their friends made sure to get him home safely. The next morning, he woke up and found blood all over his nightstand. He called his friends and asked for his alarm clock back.
Why couldn’t the dwarf husband make his wife pregnant?
Because of his short cummings.
What’s red and bad for your dental health? A brick.
What’s invisible and bad for you to breathe? Mustard gas.
What’s green and bad for you to drink? Radioactive waste.
Q. Why did the cow cross the road?
A. Because he/she wanted to watch the moooovie.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought Voldemort was ugly, but then I met you.