Worst Jokes Ever
There was a cowboy riding in a desert when he saw a little girl up ahead. He heard her crying, so he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her: "Hey, what's going on? Why do you cry? Where are your parents? What happened?"
The girl said in a crying, sad voice, "The Indians came, killed my father and my mother, and raped my sister."
The cowboy just laughed, unlocked his belt, and pulled his trousers down and said, "Guess it isn't your day, is it?"
My family chastises me for MY job, but you should hear how my family provides "customer service" at their jobs. My mother works as a social worker and answers the phone like, "DYFS, you beat em, we treat em." My grandmother is a Medical Examiner and she answers the phone like, "City Morgue, you kill em, we chill em." These bitches have no class! I'm an actress and studio secretary. When you call the studio, I answer the phone professionally like, "Good afternoon. IHOP, International House Of Pussy. Creampie Cassie speaking."
When I was acting up, my mother used to tell me, "I brought you into this world, and I will take you out. I gave you life, and I can also take it." So my son was acting up and talking back to me. Now I'm being charged with murder. I don't understand. I thought it was okay to kill your own kids.
What type of implants are at a Chinese dentist office? Buck teeth implants.
Suck tiny dick, now you have STD's.
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
Q. What's the difference between my phone battery and an anti-vax kid?
A. Nothing, they both die at ten.
If you ever get mad, just punch an orphan. What are they supposed to do? Tell their parents?
What is 1 + 1?
They didn’t tell me. Their stomach is upset.
So, I was watching YouTube, and then my friend says, "Those videos never get old." I replied, "Just like a Make-A-Wish kid." After I said that, he shot me in the head and said, "And now neither do you." Now I’m in Heaven, and God says to me, "Welcome to Paradise where it is summer days, clear skies," and I said, "Are there summer women?" Now here I am in Hell with my buddy Hitler. I believe he’s a hero after he killed Hitler.
I told her "I love you." She said, "I love me too."
Yo mama so fat, she stand on the scale and the scale says: "I want your weight, not your phone number!"
a
How do people with hydrocephalus wear standard-size helmets?
L: you
You: 😂
What do you call a prostitute with no arms or legs?
Cash and carry.
Why did the cow cross the road?
'Cause he wanted to go to a moooooooooooooooooooooooovie.
What is the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie? He doesn't walkie or talkie.
The village people said that they need their idiot back; you better get going!
My love life.