Worst Jokes Ever
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
Why was 911 annoyed at the pizza guy?
Because they ordered meat lovers, but they got plane.
I've never been to Bradford before until today. While driving through the city center with my dad I asked, "Would you set up a business here?", to which he responded "No".
So I asked "Why not, you'd make us rich!", He gave me a confused face and asked, "How so?".
So I said, "Because sales would be fucking booming!"
I know, it's an awful joke.
Someone broke into my house and took my anti-depressants... I hope they're happy now.
What do you call an Irish man that breaks up fights?
Liam Malone.
There were two snakes slithering along when one snake said to the other snake, "Are we poisonous?" "Idk why?" The other snake responded, "'Cause I just bit my tongue!"
Joker: Knock knock...
Batman: Who's there?
Joker: Not your parents!
Friend: What fly's and cry's?
You: A cloud.
Friend: What goes up but not down?
You: Your age.
What type of tape do kidnappers use?
Abduct-Tape.
Women have less rights than a NASCAR track.
Why did Rolf Harris meet underage kids?
To tie his kangaroo down, sport!
Why didn’t the toilet cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack!
What do screen doors and blondes have in common?
The more you bang them, the looser they get.
What do you call a baby with red on it?
A baby in a microwave.
I saw this really old guy with the Hitler stache, so I decided to start beating him up.
It was very weird when a camera crew came out with Harrison Ford and started yelling at me.
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday.
God being a sniper is so fun!
Donkeys are cool.
Why would a man spend his whole career at a barn?
Because it's stable.
Do you have dark humor?
Actually, never mind. I was going to tell you a joke about babies dying... but I decided to abort.