Worst Jokes Ever
Why can’t orphans build computers?
They don’t know where to put the motherboard.
A man walked into a toilet and saw a woman fingering a man and said, "I think you're doing it wrong." Turns out it was two transvestites.
A guy once went hunting at a Hunting Ranch owned by a Hunter and his Wife. After a long day of hunting, the hunter enjoys a couple of cold ones in Rancher’s Living-room. There they were having a grand ole time until the Rancher’s wife walks in. The Hunter looks at her and says “that’s a nice piece of ass you got your self there.” The Rancher replied “(with a harsh southern accent from years of cigarette smoke) You’ve never been so right in your life, honey why don’t show our guest your tits.” She agrees and then shows the hunter her plump DD cup breast. After he gets a good gander he says “Nice.” Then Rancher shouted “show em yer peker now Hon.” She agreed and whipped out a 13inch Johny, and twirled it around like how an Elephant would move his. Now dazed and confused the Hunter yells out “What in Sam Hill is that!!” and the Rancher replied “Now....Lemme tell you..There ain’t a thing like it”.
Why did the Titanic sink? It loved the iceberg!
When I was on the Titanic, I got broken.
A guy once went hunting at a hunting ranch. After a long day of hunting, the hunter enjoys a couple of cold ones in the rancher’s living room. There they were having a grand ole time then the rancher’s wife walks in. The hunter says, “That’s a nice piece of ass you got yourself there.” The rancher replied with a harsh, raspy Southern chuckle from years of Marlboro Reds, “You’ve never been so right in your life. Honey, why don’t you show our guest your tits?” She agrees and shows the hunter her plump DD cup breasts.
The hunter says, “Nice.” Then the rancher said, “Show ‘em yer pecker now.” She agreed and whipped out a 13 incher. Dazed and confused, the hunter says, “What in Sam Hill is that?!” And the rancher replied, “Now... lemme tell you... there ain’t a thing like it.”
Why do orphans love tennis? It's the only love they get.
In tennis, 0 points is love.
I don't want to date an alien.
Barney-1 2 3 what number comes next?
Barney-that’s right it’s penis!
Why couldn't Stephen Hawking pass? Because he couldn't pass "I'm not a robot" test.
Girl: Can we visit Grandma this weekend?
Mother: Sure.
Five-year-old: Look mommy! Two people and they're wearing rope necklaces!
What's the difference between me and cancer?
My father didn’t beat cancer.
What has more brains than a student in a school shooting? The wall behind them.
Tigger was playing hide & seek, so he looked in the toilet, but all he found was Pooh.
A husband and wife are crossing the street. The husband is explaining to the wife why you should always look both ways before crossing the street.
Man: "So you see, Dolly? You should always look both ways before crossing the street."
The man turns and looks to his wife, but she is not there!
Man: "Dolly? Dolly!"
The man looks around and sees Dolly laying dead on the street.
Man: "Dolly!"
What's the difference between a gun and chips? When you bring it to class, everyone starts wanting to be your friend.
Q: What did the egg do when the bacon told it a joke?
A: It cracked up!
Lady: I am going to come to your house.
Man: Ok.
An hour later, the lady is at the man's house. The man meets her outside of the house.
Man: You are going to cum to my house!
And then he fucks her.
Lady: Will you fuck me?
Man: No, I don’t have a penis.
Lady pulls down man's pants and looks in them. "Yes, you do!" she says.
Man: Oh, I forgot it was there.
The Bigfoots had a campfire. One Bigfoot asked what should we roast next. The other replied, "Maybe a penis and a girl."