Which room has no doors and no windows?
A young, innocent little girl is playing hopscotch, and she says, "You step on a crack, you break your mama's back." Then she steps on a crack, so her mother's back proceeded to break slowly. Then she said, "You step on a line, you break your dada's spine," but the neighbor's spine broke, and in happiness, the thought-to-be previous father gets in his car and drives through the garage door...
So there's an orphan in a hospital, and the doctor walks up and says, "Sorry, kid, but this is a family hospital."
My pp
So I went to the bank and a lady asked me to check her balance... so I pushed her over.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can't unscrew a pregnant woman.
What's a similarity between a broken lightbulb and a pregnant woman?
They're both accidents.
If you're sleeping, and you fall in your dream, you may have died, and the angels dropped you.
Or you don't wake up, and you were on your way to hell.
nOnBiNaRy TrAsH
I'm hertophobic -
aka I'm allergic to all straight guys.
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes, and everyone is trying to shit on ya.
Your forehead [is] so big [that] every time you shout, your forehead starts pulsing.
Today I told my sis, "Knock knock."
She said, "Who's there?"
I said, "I Eat eat my mop."
She said, "I eat mop poo instead of who."
I'm hertophobic.
It means I'm allergic to straights.
I'm a nonbinary trash can.
Why was the turtle looking at her phone?
She wanted to take a shellfie.
Why aren't there any stray cats in Chinatown?
There are, but they're just listed as "pork" on the menus.
What do condoms and whores have in common?
Answer: There is a lot that comes in every box.
What do magicians and prostitutes have in common?
Answer: disappearing acts.
Becky: Rob, you're so stupid! Anything that you say is stupid!
Rob: .....BECKY :3
The thing about animals is every time you pick one up, you have to put it down.
