Worst Jokes Ever
911 jokes are just plane wrong, my dad was a great pilot you know.
This joke probably flew over people's heads, but for some people it flew into their head.
Do you have a halo, cause I can give you one.
Do you have a halo?
'Cause I can give it to you.
What's red all over and spins at 100 mps?
Baby in a blender.
Hi.
Hi hi hug hi huh hi hi.
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Fuck 'em.
Why did the fire not burn the kid? Because it had no lips.
A man books a session to see a therapist, as he claims he has a strong fear of the 15th, 9th and 3rd letters of the alphabet. So once the therapist, let's call him Frank, has jotted that down on his notebook, he says, "Oh, I see."
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream?
Because he was hit by a bus.
Hi, I did not text back to text her and dad, now I’m texting her. Now I’m.
Why did Trump's brain cross the road?
Oh wait, there is no other side.
What kind of chair inhabits your soul?
A hair!
What did the hairdresser say to the power line?
"Want a power cut?"
What's the name of a cannibal's favorite all-you-can-eat buffet? Planned Parenthood!
What did the corn say to the flying apple?
"That's corny."
What did the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
"Beat it. We're closed."
Me: I know how to use a microwave!
Also me: Mom! The microwave is on fire!
True story.
Me: I know how to use a microwave!
Also me: Mom! The microwave is on fire!
Why did the skeleton not go to the dance?
Because he had no BODY to go with!
Me in my dream: What a good day! *rumble* Ooh! What was that?
I wake up and I find myself on the floor.