What's the difference between acne and a priest... Acne waits until a boy is 13 before it comes onto his face.
You better get used to having dry cereal cuz your dad ain't never bringing the milk back.
What did the tree wear to the pool party 🥳?
Swimming trunks.
What do tomatoes 🍅 do when they meet?
They ketchup.
My wife called me ugly, and then when she found out how much money I actually make, she called me ugly and broke.
why cant an orphan play baseball? because they cant find home
So, I was sitting with my little brother and talking about our dreams. "What do you wanna be when you grow up?" I asked him. He answered, "A doctor!" I wanted to tease him so I said, "I wouldn't be treated by a doctor like you." I was hoping he would get mad or something, but instead, he calmly replied, "Brother, I said doctor. Not a vet."
how do you fit 4 gay guys on a stool?
you flip it over.
What’s yellow and can’t swim
A bus full of kids
Why can't antelopes get married?
Because they can't elope.
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys? He was playing by ear.
What's the difference between a woman and a washing machine? The washing machine doesn't follow you after you put a load in it.
Where do cows go for entertainment?
The MOOOOvie theater.
Kidnapping is just surprise adoption.
GOOGOO?
RTY!
Where do keyboards go to have dinner?
The space bar!!!
Stephen Hawking walked in a bar...
Just kidding.
What's a school shooter's favorite flower?
Columbine.
Oh he.
Uuhgggyuuuhhhgg.
Just to an orphan.
Orphan: You're stupid.
You: You're so ugly, it's the reason your parents are dead.
