Worst Jokes Ever
My life is like a broken pencil, it's pointless.
What do you call a guy on fire in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
Helen Keller walked into a bar, then a chair, then a table.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Bagel."
"Bagel who?"
"Toast, it's me, your arch-nemesis, Bagel, here to make up! Bye!"
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite toy as a kid?
Hot Wheels.
They say making and having friends comes with some benefits. I guess you could say I have friends with benefits.
I asked my mum why she’s depressed, she said her life has been a wreck. I asked how long has it been, she then asked when I was born.
I eat dick.
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Bear.
Bear who?
Bear bum!
What do you call the type of photo an orphan takes?
A selfie.
Why do all orphans get iPhone X's?
There isn't a home button.
Why do people love camping?
Because it's in tents!
I am going to scream, this is a cry for help.
What 3 words started Jeffery Dahmer's cannibalism?
"This isn't ketchup."
What 3 words started Jeffery Dahmer's cannibalism?
This isn't ketchup.
What do sperm say while just in?
"We need to go deeper."
What did I say to you? You suckkkkkkkkkkkkkkk, boiiiiiiiiiiiiii!
Person: Hey, do you know what's the best thing in life?
...
You do realize that I said nothing, right?
Me: Exactly :)
Me: Hey! Do you know how to tie a knot?
Person: Yea, why?
Me: Cause I need help tying this noose :)
A girl looked in the fridge. She got mad that somebody ate the last ice cream cone. She ran into her sister's room and said, "This is why you're fat!" Then fell down the stairs. Good thing she had that belly roll to save her.