Worst Jokes Ever
An alligator is in a class, turns out he likes teaching!
What do you call an alligator that likes donuts? A donutator!
When a person went to a restaurant, they died once they were in. Three people were a suspect. Two were suspected because she served the food. Turns out, it was the food!
Five people went to a store and asked for a menu. The waitress said, "I will be right back."
It's only rape.
If she finds out.
The more they smile, the less they see.
Ah, you wanna read a cheeseburger joke for your friends to hear.
Nah, bro, you're just going to get cheese on your burger.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? One, you just need to throw it hard enough.
If your wife dies of childbirth, can you press charges on the baby?
Kid says, “Are you a soldier?”
Soldier says, “Mhm.”
Kid says, “I wanna be a soldier someday.”
Soldier says, “Really?”
The kid says, “Yeah, but father says I don’t have the balls to be a soldier, but he’s right. I’m a FUCKING PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS!!!"
"Jonny, Jonny?"
"Yes, Papa?"
"Eating sugar?"
"No, Papa."
"Open your mouth!" Shoves hand down throat-
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
'Cause there was a crack!
Do you know how I lost my music teacher job?
I tried to hit G by putting D.
Teacher: Tell me about the history of Tsar Nicholas (blah blah blah).
Student: How should I know, that's his story?
Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his brother in the woods?
Three guys are in the woods, a really smart guy, an average guy, and a really dumb guy. They're bored, so the smart guy decides to go hunting. A little while later he comes back with a deer. The average guy asks, "How did you do that?" The really smart guy says, "I see deer tracks, I follow deer tracks, I see deer, I shoot deer." The average guy says, "I think I understand," and leaves. A little bit later he comes back with a raccoon. The really dumb guy goes *gasp*, "How did you do that!?" And the average looks at him funny and says, "Well, I see raccoon tracks, I follow raccoon tracks, I see raccoon, I shoot raccoon." The super dumb guy thinks for a second and says, "Oooohh, ok, I think I can do that..." and leaves.
Hours pass, and the guy finally returns, hurt, bloody, and horribly mangled. They run to help him. Finally, one of the guys asks him what happened. This is what he said: "I see train tracks, I follow train tracks, I see train, I shoot train. But train keep coming."
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
'Cause 7 8 9.
Somebody’s son said, "Mom, my dick has white stuff coming out of it." She said, "Oh, good one, son, so when’s the baby coming?"
My "choco" is too "late" for lunch.
I asked my mom if I could be Wednesday (from the Addams family). She said no. She said I would look creepy and weird. She said I HAVE TO BE SOMETHING CUTE. The outfit looked ridiculous. Everyone else looked spooky except for me ;-;.