Worst Jokes Ever
My girlfriend told me the dishwasher was leaking, so I brought home some tampons.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but a crowbar could do it so much quicker.
Funny thing happened today, my dad came home from work which is weird cause he’s a suicide bomber.
Slit your wrists.
Imagine this... you're a lesbian, and you're doing it with your cannibal girlfriend. You say, "Eat me, baby!"
She pulls out a knife and fork.
What do cannibals think when they see a pregnant woman?
"Kinder Egg surprise."
I liked the chocolate mousse cake joke.
What did a skeleton say when he's alone?
"I'm so bonely..."
Yo mama so ugly Joe Biden was jelly.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink? A dipresso espresso.
You know how in the movie, "Nightmare Before Christmas," they say they're making Christmas?
I thought Mary and Joseph did, but okay.
Type this in your calculator:
5 days a week (type in 5),
6 different classes (type in 6),
7 hours a day (type in 7),
x
2 semesters (type in 2),
=
flip the calculator over ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°).
Did you?
What goes 200 mph and is red?
Babies in a blender.
There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7.
When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the "bright side" of it.
She said, "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome!"
54 students died that day.
All then are bad.
When you're angry, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Yo Mama so fat, she has a Twinkie inside of a Twinkie inside of her fat ass motherfucking belly button!
What is the pedophile's favorite shoe?
White vans.
When a clock goes forward, it's tic-tac, but when Rommel goes backwards, it's tactic!