It did not rain very often when Chuck Norris was a kid.
Why?
Because his favorite childhood song was "Rain Rain Go Away."
Girl, are you a rope? Because I want to hang with you.
Hear about the guy who dipped his nuts in glitter?
Pretty nuts!
I just found out I'm colorblind. News came out of the purple.
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, flags big plus.
Why'd Billy get fired from the banana factory?
He kept throwing with the bent one.
Would you rather get a massage from a man or get major surgery from a woman?
Why do the Twin Towers have Elton John?
Because Elton "IS STILL STANDING".
Why were the Twin Towers traumatized about eating?
After someone said, "HERE COMES THE AIR PLANE(s)," it just wasn't the same..........
What do you call the inside of the ISS toilet?
Cosmic Brownies.
I asked Siri why I am still single; she showed me a pic of my mom riding on my dick!
Yo mamma is so dumb that she smokes to burn calories!
What do you call a Flying Pilot? Because he can go pee on the plane!
Your teeth are so out of line, even James Charles is straighter than them.
Like if you like porn.
Are people too thick to realize the difference between a fruit, a vegetable, and a person?
Hey Explain bear, how would you like to be replaced by #ExplainNibbles the hamster AI?
What do you call a Flying Pilot?
He pee on the plane.
Santa decided coal was too expensive, so he started putting shredded lettuce and mayo in naughty kid's lockers... he calls it the coal's law.
What did the Buddhist say to the pizza delivery boy?
"Make me one with everything."