Worst Jokes Ever
Patient to doctor: "Will I be ok, Doc?"
Doctor: "I doubt it. Mercury is in Uranus now."
Patient: "I don't do that astrology stuff."
Doctor: "Nor me. My thermometer just broke."
You're so poor not even Dollar Tree has your prices.
Are you electricity? 'Cause I wanna get a bath with you ;)
9/11 and Jenga are the same.
It's a controlled demolition.
I used to be into necrophilia. Until that rotten cunt split on me...
Why was the short person a coward? They didn't stand up to challenges.
"Fish, why you no fly?"
"I don't like being caught naked."
Poop + mouth = yummy for dung Beatles and HEDGEHOGS!
A random drunk person ate poop, but he found out it was liquid...
A Texan and an Alaskan walk into a room, and the Alaskan says, "My state is bigger." Then the Texan says, "It won't be when it melts."
I remember having a crush on my math teacher, so I winked at her and said, "Don't worry, babe, I'll call you later."
Dad: You're adopted.
Son: Where are my real parents?
Dad: >:D They are dead, now come to their grave and sleep there.
Your face was so ugly, you got adopted by a poop!
Why did the chicken explode? Because he pooped his pants!
Why was the toilet angry?
Because everyone was pooping in his mouth :>
Why did the chicken cross the road? To poo in the toilet.
When a hedgehog finds poop, they put it in their mouths. They mix it with saliva until it's a foam, then rub it on themselves.
I heard a joke about chocolate.
It wasn’t that funny.
I just Snicker-ed.
It's muffi time, 'cause I wanna die, die, die.
This boy was in school one day when he became desperate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, “May I use the bathroom?”
The teacher replied, “No, not unless you say your alphabet.”
So the boy said, “a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z.”
When he finished, the teacher asked him, “Where’s the p?”
The boy replied, “Half way down my leg...”