I'm just happy no idiots are calling these people fat-phobic.
Why do fat cows eat fat cows? Because I wrote this in America.
How do you punish a blind man?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
Me playing a game........ what did God just stop our hearts cause didn't kill everybody
Me playing a game...
What did God just stop? Are hearts cause we didn't kill each other.
Like if that was good.
What do you call a whore with a runny nose?
...Full!
What's the difference between Princess Diana and Thomas the Tank Engine?
Thomas came out the other end of the tunnel.
A kid gets home from school and finds his mom and dad having sex. The kid asks, "What are you doing, Dad?" The dad replies, "Having sex with your mom, son," and he starts laughing.
The next day, Dad gets home from work and finds his son having sex with his nan. The dad shouts, "What the hell are you doing, son?" The kid replies, "It's not funny when it's your mom, is it?"
How does a paedophile know if he's good at sex?
It'll forever be a mystery because the victims [are] too young to scream his name.
Going to church, you don't think you are Christian.
Sleeping with ten men, you don't think you are straight.
Dating a girl and studying mathematics, both give a headache.
One time, I broke up with my Roblox girlfriend by sending her a message. Thirty seconds later, I heard my uncle crying in the next room.
Why do orphans never play baseball??? Cause they can never find home
A Mexican runs into a wall, what hits first?
His lawnmower.
You can't be a loser if you have nothing to lose.
Deeeeeertt.
Can you believe they're still together after everything they've been through?
Who you might ask...
YOUR ASS CHEEKS!
ur mom fat lol
A fact! I think I'm officially a poo-buster, as the plunger does look like the weapon in "Ghostbusters"!
Mom: Wake up!
Me: No, I'm too disappointed and I have a headache...
Mom: Why are you disappointed?
Me: I took 12 random pills and I still woke up...
