Worst Jokes Ever
I told my mom that I have a crush. She replied with: "So you like girls?" I said: "Uhm no no no." BUT I'm lesbian. Someone help, how do I tell her without her hitting me with a belt?
So, I walked up to my grandma and I said, "What color would you be on a rainbow cupcake?" She just turned 61, ok, ok. So I'm like, "I got it, I got it, ok, ok." She's like: "Ok, what color?" I say: "Grey."
I was given my electronics test today. Turns out it was given to me 'cause I have the same name as someone who got 54/59. I actually got my hopes up, too.
What commitment does a pimp make to each new hoe he turns out?
Answer: He will always be there for her after the break-in period.
A woman buys a house, but she doesn't know what to name the house, so she stuck her head outside and heard "Hairy butt," so she named the house Hairy Butt.
The next month she had a baby, but she didn't know what to name him, so she stuck her head outside and heard "Crack," so she named the baby Crack.
After a year or two she lost him, so she called the police and said, "Help! I looked all over my hairy butt, but I couldn't find my little crack."
Can some hot depressed suicidal guy give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die?
Can all the hot, depressed, suicidal guys just text me so we can meet up and cry together about how depressed we are. For real.
I will pay someone to kill me.
I told my dad that I’m gay. He replied, “No, you're retarded.” Then he went off to kiss a baby.
You can get into a fight with an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Skinny deformed creature in the distance.
Why did the yeet yeet? It yeeted!
if an emo doesn't get better by Christmas Santas reindeer won't be the only thing jumping off roofs this year
What are the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights?
They are both going to be hanging from a tree.
When I see James Charles, my popcorn goes pop pop.
Why did the skeleton cross the road?
To get to skull.
What's the difference between a baby and a brick?
A brick doesn't cry when you throw it on a wall.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
He wiped his ass.
Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
Because everybody that can run, jump, and swim is already in the U.S.
Murueurx.