Worst Jokes Ever
Why do orphans play GTA 5?
To get wanted!
(demons in my head) I laugh to meet them...
Why were there two boys on the bay?
Because they were gay!
What's the difference between my dad cumming and cancer?
Nothing, they both stain.
Hi Blake.
What's NASA's grossest mission?
Probing Uranus.
Q: My dad woke up one morning about to go to work, but he was still really tired, so he decided the quickest way to wake him up was to slap him in the face.
So he asked me to do it, but I guess I don't know my own strength, and so he went back to sleep again...
Q: My scale had my phone number on it. Wandering why, I looked up only to see an elephant in my face...
What did the fish say when he hit the wall?
Dam!
If Red gets voted out, what happened?
Red is not voted out, Red is a hacker, so he kills Blue. OK, so someone found Blue's body. Red said, "Where?"
Lime, Green, and Purple said, "How is Red not dead?"
Red: "I am a hacker, you noobs!"
Lime, Green, and Purple run.
Red killed them all. Red is the win, but he is not the win.
Black killed Red. Black is the win.
LOL
Why was 10 scared?
Because 9/11 came flying in.
My grandad was shocked to learn that lightning can strike in the same place twice.
I made a website to support orphans.
It just needs a home page.
Teacher: What's your favorite animal?
Me: Desert Eagle.
Teacher: Why?
Me: 'Cause it fits in my backpack.
Why are Americans such good chess players?
Because they lost two towers.
What did one copper say to the other? C U.
Child: Mom, someone told me you talk like an owl.
Teacher: Who?
Child: Oh, it is true, you do talk like an owl!
A day in the life of a Biden voter.
$2000 stimulus check? Nah, $1400...some day.
No more kids in cages? Nah, more kids in cages.
$15 minimum wage? Nah, $11. Maybe.
50k loan forgiveness? Nah. Lol.
No more deportations? Nah, they're still leaving.
Women's rights? Nah, dudes in women's sports.
New COVID bill? Nah, mostly bailouts and pet projects.
Cheap insulin? Nah, jack those prices up.
Defeat fascism? Nah, barbed wire fences around DC.
What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a parakeet?
Shredded tweet!
Why do orphans play GTA?
To make them feel wanted.