Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call me?
Chinese?
One day a father went out for some cold beer and threw the 18 pack in the back seat on top of the infant in the car seat. Fortunately, it was light beer.
You're the reason the middle finger got created.
My sister thinks she's so smart. She said only an onion can make you cry, so I brought the belt out, and she started crying.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana again?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Police.
Police who?
Police stop telling these awful knock knock jokes!
What would you name a mummified squirrel?
Perhaps... Mumford?
A seizure is just an excuse for break dancing.
You have a six-minute timer to live, but when you breathe, it resets.
Why do orphans not like the movie Frozen?
Because for them, love isn't an open door.
Son: Mom, can I get $100 for a week?
Mom: Why do you need $100 for a week?
Son: I'm going on a date, and I need $100 for a week, please.
Mom: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Go on your date now. You got $1, so go.
Son: And you got $0.00.
Stephen Hawking isn't dead; his update is just laggy because he is too far from the WiFi box.
Dad: Come on, David, go dress up like a girl.
David: Isn't that illegal?
Dad: Nah, it isn't illegal if you keep the buttons in.
David: I hate my life.
How do you create the world's quickest human pyramid?
Turn on the gas chamber.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
What kind of animal falls from the sky?
Answer: A raindeer.
A Mexican is drunk and he has a passenger in the car, and the passenger asked, "Where are we going?"
The Mexican says, "I'm not driving, the drunk guy is."
Why couldn't the orphanage win the baseball game?
Answer: They couldn't find home base.
Teacher: "Okay, so how are you going?"
Student: "I'm not going."
Teacher: "Oh, so you're a wheelchair person?"
Why is a white guy in prison scarier than a black guy in prison?
The white guy actually did it.