Worst Jokes Ever
What do you say when a person trips?
You say, "Why you trippin'?"
When you ask your friend if he thinks lunch is good, but he says that he doesn't taste anything.
Teachers at a school shooting be like: damn it. That's the third one this week and it's only Monday.
What were the terrorist of 9/11 thinking?
We can’t go over it, we can’t go under it, we'll have to go through it.
You and me went up to stab your father. He was out, do not pout. They are coming after.
What did Superman say to Batman?
Nothing, Bruce is dead.
I want to make a joke about Kobe, but it won't land well.
I need more webs and I need more supplies for more webs, how do I make them? With spiders!
What do you call Cap and Spider-Man? Spider-America!
Jack and Jill went down to hell to fetch your mother's bladder.
Her bladder broke. You two are soaked, and now you have a daughter, 'cause in that bladder was me!
I'm shocked, my new toaster isn't waterproof.
He only won the election because of rigging.
82 million votes my ass.
Ask me for proof.
Why did the cow lick your mum?
Because she had a cream pie.
Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy).
Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle).
Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what's the third son's name? A: David.
What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A: A bed.
Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!
Q: How many letters are in the alphabet? A: 11. A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
Coronavirus walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "Gimme a shot of whiskey, will ya?"
The bartender says, "Sorry. We don't serve viruses here."
Corona replies, "Well, you're not a very good host."
I'm stumped.
Q: Why do birds need feathers?
A: To cover their butt. Quack!
Q: Why do birds need feathers?
A: To cover up their butt quack!