Worst Jokes Ever

Two friends are talking and one says, "I had a good day today, I ran into my ex." The other guy replies, "How is that good?" The friend says, "I was in my car."

What do a condom and a gun have in common? You should never use either one of them.

What happens when you make an asían girl squirt?

She charges you 10 cents for extra sauce.

Instead of Edward Scissorhands, I’m Edwardscissor wrists.

I asked my doctor if it was normal for one of my nuts to be bigger than the other two.

Does anyone know how to add pictures? Like, I need to know.

What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?

Dollar a pop!

Get it?

Driving through the woods today, I saw a boy with a bare behind.

Ur next.

What song does an orphan hate?

"We Are Family."

So uh, I did this thing where I put soap on my brother's toothbrush, and then I put more on and colored it to make it look like toothpaste, and uh, he is constipated now. I AM EVIL :3

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Apples get picked. Lel. I hope you guys like this joke.

For all the people with Covid-19, I just want to say... Stay positive.

A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide.

The librarian said, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."

If you own a gun and you live in the USA, hide your gun upstairs. Biden can't get it.

Biden: *falls over on steps*

I named my dog "5 miles" so I could say I ran five miles today. I ran over 5 miles.

I was watching my son play at the park, and a lady asked me, "Which one is yours?" And for fun, I said, "I don't know, I'm still choosing."

Why can Chinese people play baseball?

Because they ate the bat.

What song does an orphan hate?...

"I'm so lonely."

Why are Chinese people bad at baseball?

Because they ate the bases.