Worst Jokes Ever

What does a person that’s high and Helen Keller have in common?

Both stare off into space.

Pizza Hut.

What do you call the wife of a hippie? A Mississippi.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

What did the swordfish say to the marlin? You're looking sharp.

A man and his friend walk into a bar on a 30-story building and order a drink of beer. Then one of the men jumps out the window and he can fly, so he says to his mate, "Gary, take a sip of this drink, it makes you fly!" So Gary takes a sip of the drink, jumps out the window, and dies. And the bartender says, "Gee, Superman, you're a douche when you drink!"

What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Close the door, I'm dressing.

I spit on an orphan. What is he going to do? Tell his parents?

Why are orphans bad at baseball? They can never find home.

We are close to beating the world record of comments on this website (171). Right now, there are 155, so put more comments!

I'm so gay.

what do sloths and depressed people have in common? ... they both hang from trees.

Are your hands feeling heavy? Because I can hold them for you.

If I were a cat, I'd spend all nine of my lives with you.

Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile.

Gutted rn... the girl I loved hard just got in a relationship. She liked me too so I missed the chance. Idk if she still does... man...

Are you Wi-Fi? Because I think I am finding a connection.

My mom told me a joke she made 13 years ago, but she didn't tell me what it was... Anyways, I'm turning 14 next month.

You think my face is ugly? Yours is more.

Guys, put more comments in.

We are so close to beating the world record for most comments on this website, and the record is 171.

Hi guys, I'm back! So I have a question for you. What is red and smells like blue paint? Type in comments what you came up with.