Worst Jokes Ever
What's the worst part about eating vegetables from the hospital?
The life support cord.
I went to a handicapped comedy club, but all the jokes they told were special, and they didn't know a lot about stand-up at all.
According to the Police report, what did one traffic signal say to the other?
"Roxanne, you don't have to put on the red light..."
Roses are tree.
I shoved a battery up my butt.
Loona from Helluva Boss is a retarded mutt.
So the other day I saw a homeless man. He tried to mug me. I let him.
I had nothing on me either. (I'm on the next block over.)
So apparently, Kurt Cobain's death was mind-blowing.
What do you call an annoying emo kid?
A nuisance.
What do you call it when a tranny commits suicide?
A good start.
I don't ignore dwarfs, I just overlook them.
What's a fat Mexican woman's favorite movie? Tortanic.
What’s a necrophiliac’s safe word? I’m alive.
What do atoms and parents have in common to orphans? You can't see either of them.
The quiet kid, orphan, and school shooter walked into a bar, and he ordered a beer.
The only thing the orphan learned from his dad is the hide-and-seek skill to hide for 18 years. He tried it out; now he has infinite milk.
They didn't know where to put the orphan. He was returned from the hospital he was born from; the parents gained one cent, while the orphan gained potatoes as friends.
An orphan told me people kept bullying him, so I said, "Tell your parents."
What do Donald Trump and a dick have in common?
Liberals can't keep either one out of their mouths.
What is the Twilight series about?
A girl's choice between necrophilia and bestiality.
Why should you shoot a homeless crackhead in the head?
Because they're basically zombies.
I want to be a bag so we can be together.