Worst Jokes Ever
Why is it so hard to find people defending suicide in any discussion?
Because they are really committed to their cause.
What's a lesbian's favorite candy?
Licorice.
What is the speed limit for sex? 68, because if you go any faster, you’ll have to turn around.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apples get picked. Orphans don't.
What do masturbation and brain damage have in common? After a few strokes, there’s no going back.
What do you call a blonde girl standing on her hands?
A brunette with bad breath.
What do masturbation and brain damage have in common? After a few strokes, there’s no going back.
Why was the two-piece swimsuit invented?
To separate the meat section from the dairy section.
Google 'dancing Israelis'.
What's a saying you shouldn't tell an epileptic?
Seize your moment.
Your hairline parts faster than Moses parting the Red Sea.
Nah, did your barber catch a seizure while lining you up?
My neighbor's daughter gave me a three-course meal last night:
Starters - role play and stripping.
Main course - Reverse Cowgirl.
Dessert - Blowy.
Why is reverse cowgirl illegal in Alabama? Because you should never turn your back on family.
What do Rihanna and a DJ have in common?
They know how to get a beat down.
If a pregnant emo kills herself, is it murder-suicide?
How do you flatten curves?
With an abortion.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite thing to do when nobody's home?
Beat it.
What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?
A kitchen chair! Your momma sits in it for lunch, and your dad only manages to reattach one of the two legs that broke off by evening.
I'd say you were the spawn of Satan, but that would be an insult to Satan.