Worst Jokes Ever
If Donald Trump is running against Bill Clinton, it's safe to say that we are witnessing the Lolita Express Erections...oops, I mean Elections.
I'm shocked about Donald Trump escaping the transgender accusations. Trump is more talkative than any of the popular girls I went to school with! Not to mention Trump's tweets...
Two Italian men get on a bus.
They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. They speak with an Italian accent.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
What’s the best part about fucking suicide girls?
The pussies are limited edition.
What's the difference between your mom in bed and Biden in the presidential race?
Your mom finishes.
Kobe likes his shoes like the way he died.
Air.
I heard P. Diddy got a job as a defensive coordinator.
He’s used to penetrating aggressively.
What song did Michael Jackson come up with after his first sleepover with the kid?
"Just Beat It."
About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him, "Bitches always come and go." He looked at me kinda mad, kinda confused, and said, "That’s my mom, dude."
Why is Jeffrey Epstein so bad at races?
Because he comes in a little behind.
What do strippers and butter have in common?
Both spread for bread.
If a pregnant lady murders someone, does the child get an assist?
What do nail polish and panties have in common?
Both come off with alcohol.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Fuck.
Fuck who?
Fuck off!
Why did the football player go to the bank?
To get his quarter back.
What is better, autism or Down syndrome?
Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.
Yo mama so fat, she stepped on the scale and it said a.k.a. "error."
My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it stays like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.
Are you a razor? 'Cause you make me red.