Worst Jokes Ever
Yeah, she said, "Do you love me?" I said, "Only partly. I love my bed and my mommy. I'm sorry."
What does Santa say for the toys to go to bed?
"Time to hit the sack!"
What do you call Nicki Minaj covered in glue?
Sticky Minaj.
What does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common? They both ask people, "Where's the meat?"
What does B.I.B.L.E. stand for?
Bull Shit In Book Lacking Evidence.
Does it cycle now?
What goes Snap, Crackle, and Pop?
A neck.
What do you do when you finish a magazine at the hospital?
You reload and keep shooting.
Last week was my blind friend's birthday. I thought I would give him something really good that he may need.
As I walk into his house and give him a cheese grater for a birthday present, he sets it next to him. As weeks pass, he comes up to me. He said, "That present that you gave me for my birthday was the most intense book I have ever read!"
What goes pop pop sizzle sizzle?
Two dead babies in an acid bath.
What do you call finding half of a worm?
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh moan for me.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie? Stephen can't walkie and Stephen can't talkie.
I just donated $100 to a blind children's charity, suck that no one will see it.
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite type of candy?
A: Loli-pops.
Why is Beast Boy so good at flying?
Terra hasn't forgiven him.
My girlfriend has a huge crush on Jupiter, I mean she fell HARD!
A man dies and goes to Heaven. He sees a bunch of clocks and asks Jesus what they are for. He replied they are gauges, and that they move when people lie. He said that Mother Teresa's has moved twice, Abraham Lincoln's once, and George Washington's never.
The man asks to see the current president's, and Jesus just laughs and says that Joe Biden's is the one keeping the hurricanes to speed.
Me, smashes mouse after losing a match; everybody at the pet race: :O
This is not a joke, it's a warning!
You guys are stupid. I am an orphan, and you better stop doing these. BTW, if you are an orphan, put it in the comments and say that it's not funny!
I called a suicide hotline in Iraq. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
Why did the Orphan go to church?
To call someone father.