Worst Jokes Ever

What do you call a white person having a seizure?

A vanilla shake.

I go to get my mail.

Stranger: "Something fell out of your pocket! April fools!"

Me: "You're adopted, April fools!"

Then I see an orphan behind me and gets all excited.

GURL

Who is more loyal: a dog or a wife?

Well, lock them both in your trunk for two hours and drive around and see which one is happy to see you.

When you go to an orphanage for a field trip: When the workers said, "I remember you as a kid."

Dad, why are we here?

Because you're not loved.

What is this thing with Alya and Alex?

Alya, do you have Discord?

There was once a man from Peru. Who fell asleep in a canoe. While dreaming of Venus, He played with his penis, And awoke with a hand full of goo.

I nailed my sister's... picture on the wall.

You dirty-minded bastard!

Yo mama’s official weight (in tonnes)

99593927273949592827385959599282738595939282759593827395828192948472937593817294728275957292739584728459398284854982835884838285849292857483838385838294958483823884958383947391959593817495827394858272959573939488492949595837829374758483848497483919396849294858203957293858930375938475937393949292949848215722935375838283848382883839393949583929459939294949493928174759284759927495910305838385848292958293959.

Walmart (DYM 73).

What did they do with his body when he died?

They made him into Lego so kids can play with him for once.

Me and freshfry talking.

Hi guys, I feel forgotten lol. I feel like a banana peel... no one will talk to me. Oh, I got a good idea! We do a Google Meet!

My stepdad took me to work, and he told me I could climb trees.

I woke up in a hospital. Wait, did I mention that my stepdad was a lumberjack?

Why did the orphan start crying?

Because his apple found a home in his stomach.

One depressed kid goes to high-five a tree, but the tree just left him hanging.

My dad and I were fishing one day.

That’s where he met my stepmom.

Do you ever wonder why orphans buy small cereal boxes? It's because they can't get family size.