Worst Jokes Ever
Me: I have the body of a 28 year old.
Her: Prove it.
Me: (opens freezer)
What did the big rose say to the little rose?
"Hi, bud!"
When I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
Why did the big rose say to the little rose?
"Hi, bud."
Gwen, please just come back. I love you and I miss you so much!
What do you call an alligator detective??
An investi-gator.
Why are Americans so bad at chess? Cause they lost 2 towers.
"Racecar" spelled backwards is "racecar," but "racecar" sideways is how Paul Walker died.
Know (DYM 54).
What does NASA stand for? Nobody Asked, Someone Answered.
Kid with Cancer: "When I get older, I want to be a movie star or a singer."
Nurse: *Laughs*
Kid: "Why are you laughing?"
Nurse: "When I get OLDER."
Proceeds to laugh.
A girl had black hair. Also, I threw rubbish at her to realize she wasn't a bin.
Why did little Susie fall off the swing?
Because she has no arms or legs.
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
Not Susie.
What does a kid do when he's bored and he's sitting? He puts wheels on the chair and makes it a wheelchair.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
The depressed kid went to high five the tree... but the tree left them hanging.
What do you call a virgin in Alabama? An orphan.
If I went out with a dwarf, when I pick them up, I'll say, "Wassup short?"
I punched an orphan, and he told me to leave him alone. I said, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family portrait.