I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm getting over it.
Why is it annoying to eat by basketball players? Because they dribble all the time!
What's the best thing about Switzerland?
I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
My therapist told me time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him. Now we wait.
Ebay is so useless. I tried searching up lighters, and all they had was 13,749 matches.
Why did Monaco cross the road? It smashed a 1-mile radius of the road + the chicken.
Parent: Have you seen your sister?
Son: No, the last time I saw her was when we were playing hide and seek.
When younger girls say, "I want my period, or it will not be bad."
*eating chocolate in bed crying* My face at them when they say that. 🤣🙄😵
Them: "I got my period." *them hurting*. Me: "Told ya."
What did South Korea say to North Korea? Go read a book!
What would Earth say if it had a boyfriend?
You need to com-it.
Peter: *curses*
Sam: Wow, do you kiss your mom with that mouth?
Peter: Jokes on you, I don't have a mom.
Tony: *having a heart attack* AFSJDHFKJJD Peter, we talked about this!!!
"What did the orphan say to the other orphan? \"You have a dad? Say he can have me, I will (let) you, so he can adopt me.\""
Do you know how a snail has a "nail," why can't it be a nut?
Would I be considered a "homo" because I have sex at home?
Why you always in a mood?
How do you get a depressed man out of the tree? You cut the rope.
I was crying at school and telling my friends that my grandpa died. Then I told them I still remember his last words. They wanted to hear them. They are: "you still holding the ladder?"
John F. Kennedy: "Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."
My step-dad works at a lumberjack company and he took me to work. I went climbing trees later that day and now I'm in the hospital.
What is the difference between a sloth and a depressed kid? A sloth doesn't need a rope to hang.
