Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find their way home.
A man went into a library to get a book on how to commit suicide.
The librarian said, "No, you won't bring it back."
You can't say Hitler was a bad person. He did kill Hitler after all.
Yo mama's feet are so fat, she had to wear a sock on each toe.
Person 1: Wasn’t Stephen Hawking on X Factor?
Person 2: No, why would he be on X Factor?
Person 1: For dancing.
Kid: "What's dark humor?"
Mom: "You see that man over there without arms? Tell him to clap."
Kid: "I am blind, Mom."
Mom: "Exactly."
How do you get a light bulb horny? You turn it on!
I was speaking at my grandpa's funeral and I told everybody his last words: "You still holding the ladder?"
What would be a good job for a fat person? A four-chin teller!
I have a fish that can breakdance only for 20 seconds, and he can only do it once.
why do orphans place baseball,
Because they have to run back to home base
Yo, back off from my homey Freshfry; he's mine!
Why did Gwen go to the store? To have a new.
HEY D.K. date ME, not that weirdo Freshfry! I LOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVEEEEEE UUUUUUUUUUU D.K. Let's DATE! I'm 13 ;)
Why can't America play chess?
Because it lost two towers.
da baby
"I work with animals," the man said to his date.
His date said, "I love a man who works with animals. What job is it for the animal?"
"I am a butcher," said the man.
"What do you do with your free time?"
"I stalk."
"Really? I enjoy walks in the park, going to the movies, and hanging out with friends."
"I know."
So, a guy and his brother were walking in the woods, and his brother said, "It's getting dark out here, can we go home?"
The man said, "I know, think how I will feel walking home tonight!"
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar... oh wait.
