7000+ bats.
My grandfather died in 9/11.
He was a great pilot.
What does NASA stand for?
Nose and smelly astronauts.
Me: You stupid. Guy: You straight. Me: Sorry, I'm not a mirror.
"GWEN, can you help me? There's some person messing with me. There name is JADSA, something like that. Look for a joke named Jayden."
Mommy, mommy, why do I keep running around in circles?
Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!
This man came up to me and asked if I could sell my house to him, and I said sure. Then five days later, he said that the loan should come in the mailbox. Then I checked the mailbox, and the only thing I saw was nothing, so I told the guy, "DEEZ NUTS IN YOUR MOUTH!"
I wish the grass outside of my house was emo, because it would cut itself.
I walked up to a man, and he said, "How's the weather up there?" and then I pushed him into the street to get hit by a bus.
What's 9 + 10? 21.
What's 9 - 10? 21?
What do you call an army of autistic people with guns?
Special forces.
JFK: Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head.
Kid: Mom, do trees poop?
Mom: Yes. That is how we get #2 pencils.
What do cows use for math? A cow-culator 😏
Hey Abygail ;) can we talk? I just wanna say that you prob are sexy :)
What did the spaghetti say to the sauce? Pasta la vista!
If you need help, you will need trash, 'cause you the trash.
Kid: Dad, what is it like to be drunk?
Dad: You see those two trees over there? If you were drunk, you would see four.
Kid: Dad, there is only one tree.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
'Cause they don’t know where home is.
What is a blind person's favorite color?
Black.
