Last week was my blind friend's birthday. I thought I would give him something really good that he may need.
As I walk into his house and give him a cheese grater for a birthday present, he sets it next to him. As weeks pass, he comes up to me. He said, "That present that you gave me for my birthday was the most intense book I have ever read!"
What goes pop pop sizzle sizzle?
Two dead babies in an acid bath.
What do you call finding half of a worm?
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh moan for me.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie? Stephen can't walkie and Stephen can't talkie.
I just donated $100 to a blind children's charity, suck that no one will see it.
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite type of candy?
A: Loli-pops.
Why is Beast Boy so good at flying?
Terra hasn't forgiven him.
My girlfriend has a huge crush on Jupiter, I mean she fell HARD!
A man dies and goes to Heaven. He sees a bunch of clocks and asks Jesus what they are for. He replied they are gauges, and that they move when people lie. He said that Mother Teresa's has moved twice, Abraham Lincoln's once, and George Washington's never.
The man asks to see the current president's, and Jesus just laughs and says that Joe Biden's is the one keeping the hurricanes to speed.
Me, smashes mouse after losing a match; everybody at the pet race: :O
This is not a joke, it's a warning!
You guys are stupid. I am an orphan, and you better stop doing these. BTW, if you are an orphan, put it in the comments and say that it's not funny!
I called a suicide hotline in Iraq. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
Why did the Orphan go to church?
To call someone father.
I saw a tree. I looked up, and there was an apple hanging. And then I said, "Wow, that guy is lucky!"
My wife said if I don't get off the computer, she's gonna slam my head into the keyboard, but I think I'll ajlkfsdhnvkwr;anhf.
Hello, this is Godlygirl26. I want to help people with their problems no matter what. There is nothing that God cannot do. I want y'all to know that God is with you, not any of those stone or wood "gods" but a true, loving, powerful God. DM this right here and I will answer. Hope I can help you! Love, Godlygirl26.
#GwenComeBack Gwen please come back!
You smell like you farted. FARTED harted HARTED. A B honor rolls, all F's, you retarded. OHHHHHHHH!
I'd hit you, but I don't want to go to jail for animal abuse.
You know I'm not too into black girls, but Kobe's daughter was smoking!
