Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player?
A hockey player showers after 3 periods.
One time I fucked this chick so hard, she almost came back to life.
What’s got 4 wheels, does a barrel roll, and goes from green to red in seconds?
Kermit in a car crash.
What did Hitler say to Stan after he died?
I did nazi that coming!
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
One, she just holds the bulb to the socket and waits for the world to revolve around her.
What is a redneck virgin?
A seven-year-old that can run faster than her brothers.
Why did Michael Jackson get away with it? Because he's a smooth criminal.
Why did the Italian American Roman Catholic priest perform fellatio on gay men at the glory hole inside the adult bookstore?
Someone asked him what would he do for a Klondike Bar?
How did the priest know the nun was on her period? He tasted blood on the altar boy's cock.
Why do women have no need for umbrellas? Because it doesn't rain in the kitchen.
Why couldn’t the kid play baseball? Because he couldn’t find home.
Little Johnny walked into the bathroom while his dad was taking a dump. As soon as Little Johnny walked in, his dad let out a big FART! Little Johnny said, “WHAT WAS THAT?” His dad said, “That was the sound of the north wind.” The next day his teacher asked the class, “What’s the direction of the north wind?” Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher called on him and he said, “TEACH IT’S MY DADDY’S BOOTY!”
Why can you bully orphans?
What are they gonna do, tell their parents? Oh wait, they got no parents.
Any game: "Are you a boy or a girl?"
Non-binary people: *cries*
How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just sit in the dark and bitch.
How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up like an altar boy.
What's the difference between a woman and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
Don't be stupid, feminists can't change anything.
B b b b bird bird bird, the bird banged your mom!
Man 1: Knock knock.
Man 2: Who's there?
Man 1: Ice.
Man 2: Ice who?
Man 1: I crushed your head.