Worst Jokes Ever

Me: I want a PS5.

Dad: Alright, I will say no.

Your mom is so ugly. When she goes to the dentist, they make her face down.

What do you call a chicken staring at a pile of lettuce?

A chicken sees a salad.

(Say it out loud if you don't get it!)

Me: *Meets girl, starts to form crush* Me after I get enough courage to talk to her: “Are you a casket lid because I want you on top of me?”

“What do you call my friend group?” “Suicide Squad.”

What is a suicidal horny person's job?

A butcher.

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special Forces!! HAHAHA

Why did the orphan rob a bank?

He wanted to be wanted! 😢😂

Can watersharky and Gwen comment on this? I need to talk to you guys.

Just cut my thumb open with a knife (not a joke).

Attention to everyone, I'm not going to be on for 2 weeks because I was in a bike accident, or more like a motorcycle accident. I was ran off the road when my 16 year old brother was taking me for a ride. Now I can't use my legs cause, well, you know. I will be taking a break because I don't want to move my legs that much.

MISSING!! MISSING!! ⚠️⚠️

Name: Kylian Fraudbappe Missing: 28/6/2021 vs Switzerland Characteristics: Disappearing in big games + Diving + always ranting "give me penalty".

Possible Locations: Penalty Spot, Parc des Princes, Paris.

Last seen: Manuel Akanji’s back pocket.

I'm bored. Anybody wanna chat?

What's the difference between a redhead and an orangutan?

Some people adopt orangutans.

Which is the best sport at making fat people lose weight?

Canned hunting.

How do you call a cute door?

A-door-able.

How do you call an American bee?

USB.

How do you stop a rape victim from speaking out?

Marry her.

I saw a guy beat his girlfriend to a pulp after his girlfriend threw a phone in his face. I offered to call an ambulance, but he said he was fine.

Knock, knock.

Who is there?

Old lady.

Old lady who?

I did not know you could yodel!

I do not understand why people aren't scared of spiders. I mean, like they have 87447924872320984623879480327678987388025873289576348097923408370983728 legs and 23864867759578590893839420387424763478923748394783294327428748243264278 eyes.

I saw a spider in my room. YOU THINK I'M GONNA SLEEP IN THERE?????????

Nope. I'm moving to Japan.

KONNICHIWA