Worst Jokes Ever
Teachers: Whenever there’s a school shooting, hide under the desk.
Students: Hiding under desk.
Shooter: Well, no one’s in here!
Every woman will die in five seconds.
Mother: Dies.
Sister: Dies.
Girlfriend: Lives.
You: 🤬
So, I met Michael Jackson before he died. He dragged me to his bed.
I hate writing dwarf jokes, but I normally keep them short.
What is the difference between a boomerang and an orphan's dad?
The boomerang comes back.
"Bippity Boppity, women are not property."
Your forehead is so large, if I drew an H on it, maybe Kobe could've landed.
Yo forehead so large, it has its own gravitational pull.
POKEMON THEME SONG JOKE: I wanna be the berry best, like no one ever was.
To bitch them is my real pest, to brain them in my toss. I will gravel across the land, perching war and wide. Fuse Pokemon to under-strand, the lower that's in psyche.
Poke him on! Gotta joke them all it's Fru and me, All I know is my dress tiny, Poke him on! Yeah, you're my pest friend, In a world you must de-blend, Poke him on!
Gotta joke them all my shirts so true, My outrage will flush us through. You bitch me and I ditch you, P-O-K-E-M-O-N!!!
Gotta joke them all, Gotta joke them all!
Poke him on!
Where did the school kittens go for their field trip?
To the mew-seum!
What's a ghost's favorite food?
I like some boo-ritos!
What fruit do scarecrows love the most?
Straw-berries.
How do get a nun pregnant? Fuck her!
Why did the Irishman use three condoms? To be sure, to be sure, to be sure!
How do you recycle a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the f *ck out of it!
Why do men like big tits and a flat ass?
Because they got little dicks and big mouths.
What does the sign say on the hooker house after they were on lockdown?
Answer: "We're on lockdown, get lost pervert."
What does having sex with a woman and cooking an egg in a skillet have in common?
Both end with a loud annoying sound and a gooey mess to clean the shit up.
Boy: Wanna hear about my dick? Never mind, it's too short.
Girl: Wanna hear about my pussy? Fuck no, you won't get it.
A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Puerto Rican!"
Then the blonde replies, "OMG, you dirty little slut! How many is a Puerto Rican?"