Worst Jokes Ever
Why is no one friends with Dracula? Because he's a pain in the neck.
What's sticky and brown? A stick!
I got my husband a fridge for his birthday. His face lit up when he opened it.
What's the easiest way to get straight A's? Use a ruler.
My teachers told me I'd never amount to much because I procrastinate so much.
I told them, "Just you wait!"
Q: Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
A: Because their dad is shopping for the milk.
What do you call a pile of kittens? A meowntain.
My career is worth more than your adoption.
What do you call nuts on a chin?
My penis in your mouth.
I have (I HAVE) bolas.
What sport are Mexicans the best at?
Cross country.
If there are 4 Mexicans in a van, which of them is driving?
None of them. Immigration service is.
What do you call it when two Mexicans fight?
Juan on Juan.
How do you know if a black lady’s pregnant?
You put a banana up her vagina and see if any little monkeys come and get it.
What is another name for a serial rapist? Short dress enthusiast.
Why are they called "breaking news" in the entire world?
Because they are breaking the whole entire news.
*Breaking News!* - Apparently the first person in Melbourne has died because of the Coronavirus. In his house they found 1000 cans of food, 50 kilos of pasta, 80 kilos of rice, 300 toilet rolls and 50L of hand sanitiser which he had panic purchased from the supermarket and stockpiled "just in case".
The whole lot collapsed and buried him.
Why couldn't the NASA astronaut enter his rocket to leave Earth?
There wasn't enough space to fly it.
How do you start a fight in space?
"Comet me, bro."
What does an Irish bowler put in his hands to guarantee a wicket next ball?
A bat.