Worst Jokes Ever
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
You're losing all your friends, but never any calories.
Ninety percent of your beauty can be removed with a Kleenex.
Oh, were you talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.
Hold still, I am trying to imagine you with a personality.
You're so ugly, Hello Kitty said goodbye.
You're so ugly Bob the Builder cat can fix you.
You're so fat, you don't need internet because you're already worldwide.
Yo momma's so ugly Thanos had to snap twice.
Why do orphans always have water in their cereal? Because the dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A stick.
1. If being ugly was a crime, you would have a life sentence.
2. My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships.
3. There is a tree out there giving you oxygen, and you owe that tree an apology.
4. I don’t hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.
5. When I saw your dad on the sidewalk, I didn’t laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
6. If I had powers, I would make you the dumbest person alive, but it seems life already beat me to the punch.
7. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it.
8. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.
9. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting.
10. Were you born on a highway, 'cause that’s where most accidents happen?
11. Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya.
12. You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented.
How is everyone? I just started school. Sixth grade, yeah!
Do you know what's the difference between a knife and a girl's argument?
A knife has a point.
Hey, y'all, I just wanna say thanks to Gwen on here. She writes jokes, and she got me through a lot xx.
Your mama so fat, she walked by a TV and missed eight episodes.
Your mama is so slow, she walked by a TV and missed eight episodes.
You're so ugly that everytime you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."
You're so ugly that every time you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."
You're so dumb that every time you use the bathroom, you use your shoe to wipe your ass.
Q: Name a murderer?
A: Jews: Hitler. Russians: Stalin. Chinese: Mao. Americans: Bin Laden. Aborted fetus: My mom.
Jesus said to his disciples, "Go forth and ye shall receive eternal life." Thomas came fifth, however, so he only got a toaster.