Worst Jokes Ever

I was in an argument with a "friend" at school. He said, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."

...so I threw a dictionary at him.

What is the part of school with all the autistic people called? Downtown.

Damn bro, that calculator is looking hot today. It got abs!

I have a friend who doesn't have a dad.

He says: "You're useless, go to hell!"

Me: "Wait, why do you want me to join your dad?"

What do you call it when an orphan takes a photo?

A family photo.

When you're fighting with the emo kid and he brings his friends. Now you gotta fight the suicide squad.

Knock knock. Who's there? Not your dad.

What do you not bring to a paparazzi? A balloon.

What does a disabled person want to be when they grow up? A stand-up comedian.

What do you call an emo strip club?

Suicidal Thots.

Why did the emo kid get kicked out of the amusement park?

He kept cutting in line.

I wish my dad was home. I haven’t seen him since the shot of 2008.

I don’t see why emo kids don’t like to hang around.

I see them hang all day.

How do you make an emo jump?

A cliff.

Why don't orphans care if they get in trouble? They can't call their parents.

I got my blind friend a TV... He never uses it.

Why did Jesus not win any Stanley Cups? Because he was cut from the team because he kept being pinned to the boards.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? About 120 pounds. ;D

What's the difference between a school bus and a cactus?

On the school bus, the pricks are on the inside, but on a cactus, the pricks are on the outside.

Yo mama so fat the last time I saw 90210 was when she stepped on the scale.

Lucky for me I'm only 210.