What’s the difference between rap lovers and the Gigachad?
Rap lovers get more pussy.
Why are Germans good at smoking?
They had experience with smoking.
My parents raised me as an only child, which infuriated my sister.
My wife and I have decided that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What is the best part about Alabama prostitutes?
Family comes first.
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common They both get laid by Mexicans
How do you get a white girl to suck your dick?
Put ranch dressing on it.
What was Hitler's favorite thing to do to pass the time?
Smoking.
What is the most common crime in Asia?
Identity fraud.
What’s the similarities between a pillow and your mom?
They’re both in my bed.
In 2011, Stephen Hawking said there is no God. In 2018, God said there is no Steve Hawking.
Why was Wacko Jacko willing to write a song for the film Free Willy?
He thought that the film's title was a nice phrase to yell out in primary school playgrounds.
Why did Ten need a therapist? He was in between 9/11.
How many babies does it take to change a lightbulb? Well, obviously not 10; my basement's still dark.
Alcoholics don't run in my family, they drive!
My friend's dad went to jail. He's just surprised because he can finally find him!
I told my wife I needed a blood transfusion when I could not remember. She said, "Be positive too."
Bad, I am now a ghost writing this.
My mom asked, "Why are you so depressed? It could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer."
I replied, "I wish I were Tracy Latimer because then someone would kill me."
A bus full of ugly people is driving down the street. The bus crashes and everyone goes to heaven. They see Saint Peter, and he feels bad for them and grants them one wish before they go into heaven. The first one says, "I wish to be attractive." The second one says the same.
Meanwhile, the 3rd person in line is giggling and snickering and laughing while Saint Peter is granting wishes. Curiously, he asks why he is laughing. He says, "I was going to wish that they turned ugly again."
What's the difference between a Nazi and an onion? If you cut a Nazi, nobody is crying.
