Worst Jokes Ever

I can't with these, LMAOO!

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer?

We are both lawyers.

I bullied a kid in a wheelchair. I told him to stand up for himself.

Damn, you look out of this world because you got a big head like an alien.

"Sir, I'm afraid your son can't attend our swimming lessons anymore."

"Why not?"

"He keeps peeing in the pool."

"Well, all kids pee in the pool."

"Not from the diving board!"

A cock really has a sad life. He's hairs a mess, his neighbor's an arsehole, his best friend is a cunt.

Want to hear an abortion joke, or any joke for that matter? You have that option, and you can thank your mother for that.

But that's a question that will never be heard by an aborted unborn baby, whose only option was death. And that's no joke.

What do you call a bee that produces milk? Booby.

Q: How many cops does it take to put in a light bulb? A: None, they just beat the room for being black. 😂😂😂

I had a dad.

What do you call a door that's a man? A door, man.

Why can’t an orphan be gay?

They don’t have a closet to hide in.

I told my dad I was self harming. The next day we talked about it and he said, "Hey you should CUT it out." It was funny but I couldn't bring myself to laugh at that.

Why did the baby cow cross the road?

To find its mom who has the milk.

I was in an argument with a "friend" at school. He said, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."

...so I threw a dictionary at him.

What is the part of school with all the autistic people called? Downtown.

Damn bro, that calculator is looking hot today. It got abs!

I have a friend who doesn't have a dad.

He says: "You're useless, go to hell!"

Me: "Wait, why do you want me to join your dad?"

What do you call it when an orphan takes a photo?

A family photo.

When you're fighting with the emo kid and he brings his friends. Now you gotta fight the suicide squad.