Worst Jokes Ever
My girlfriend called me a pedophile. That's a big word for a six-year-old.
How do pirates like their movies?
You already know the answer, don't you?
Well...
ARRR rated! Huh huh huh...
Why are blinds called blinds?
Because when they aren’t closed, they are blinding!
What do you call a war dodo named Bob in WW2 and he came from Mars?
Bruno Mars.
My gf dumped me, so I took her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back?
Happiness is like food, not everyone gets it.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
He thought he saw his parents.
Oasis, am I right?
Why does Michael Jackson do positions with kids in photos? Because they won’t do the same for him.
Me: I'm retarded.
Teacher: Why?
Me: It took me 2 hours to see "60 Minutes."
When a kid says, "I'm a pedophile," it means that he has a crush on one of his classmates.
When an adult says it, he is accused as a rapper.
What is the most useless part of a vagina?
The woman.
Life is like a game of chess.
I don’t know how to play chess.
What's big and round?
Mine and not yours.
Thing 1: What's the difference between nuts and almonds?
Thing 2: I don't know, what?
Thing 1: One gets hard faster.
Your mama so slow, she went by a TV and missed eight episodes.
If Jesus had a gun, what would it be? A nail gun.
What is an orphan's family tree?
A stump.
Do you want to wear my sombrero?
Or is that nacho style?
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they don't have anyone to call them "daddy."
What does your head come out of... your brain?