"Hold my beer, watch this."
Worst Jokes Ever
Wanna hear a funny joke?
You
I wouldn't call a Suicide Help-line even if my life depended on it.
Teacher: What's 55 flowers plus 67 flowers?
Kid: A garden?
Teacher: Did I tell you that you're adopted?
What's an orphan's favorite part in the Wizard of Oz?
When Dorothy says, "There's no place like home."
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You make them clap until they go home.
Girls are like roller coasters; the faster you go, the louder they scream.
What did the tomato say to the empty ketchup bottle? "GOD STAY AWAY FROM ME!"
Bunger.
What did the bunger say to the bunger? Bunger.
What did the buffalo say to the buffalo's son?
"Bi-son."
What is the difference between Madeleine McCann and a submarine?
They are both full of seamen and are at the bottom of the ocean.
What is an orange cucumber?
A carrot, duh!
What’s a green cucumber?
A carrot.
What do 9/11 and Covid-19 both have in common?
Asians caused them both!
Why can't male orphans be gay?
Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy."
JFK is definitely a bottom.
JFK
Half is definitely a bottom.
I asked my wife if I could use toys during sex last night. You should've seen her face when I rolled my Hot Wheels across her tits.
When I feel depressed, I like to cut myself another piece of cake.
