Worst Jokes Ever

What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?

"This tastes a little funny."

Who comes once a year and makes your kids cry?

Rapey Santa.

The Pope drives around in a glass box, or as I like to call him, a sniper's dream.

Good news, people! Michael Jackson is still alive. They found him hidden away in a goat pen with all the kids!

What's big, black, and touches children?

Harambe.

I love telling good news to my patients, like they survived the crash but their family died.

Anyone else think High School Musical would have been a better film with a school shooter?

I'm thinking about telling my daughter there's a ghost in the house. At least then I can wear a bed sheet at night and fuck her without her being suspicious.

Apparently I'm not allowed home after house fires, but the neighbors, their house burnt lovely.

The hardest part of picking up a hitch hiker is tying them up.

What's the similarity between your mum and West Ham?

Your mum blows spunk bubbles from her ass.

I was fuming when I lost my job as a window cleaner, like who built the Twin Towers anyway?

Withered Bonnie, more like Bonnie Mcnutt!

Funni.

What did Omnicron say to Delta?

"Same race, bud, different evolution."

"SIX FEET AWAY, OMNI! SIX FEET AWAY!"

What do you get when you have a class of kids and a speeding car?

A 24 killstreak!

I asked the emo at my school if he got jealous when his phone died.

Yo mama so fat, when she walked across the floor, she fell through it.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

Me: Knock knock.

My sister: Who's there?

Me: I eat mop.

My sister: I eat mop who?

My mind: I eat my poo.

My sister getting it.