Worst Jokes Ever
What do Americans call high school?
A shooting range.
Your momma so fat she can feed [the] entire continent of Africa with her fat!
Yo mama so FAT...
That when she had sex with you...
Your balls turned to pancakes.
How does the earth rate its sex?
Earthquake, Cataclysm, Volcano explosion, Earth's core explodes.
If the earth's core explodes, then he got tore up!
Yo mama so fat...
That when she used a jump rope... Every time she jumped caused a giant cataclysm!
A Snorlax was in a bar, and he was drinking beer when an Eevee and a Rockruff hopped onto a stool. The Eevee ordered an oran berry special for the both of them.
Snorlax: Y'all make the perfect couple.
Random Zorua: Dragonite, is it just an illusion, or is that Snorlax fatter than this region?
You say Alex Jones, I say Alex moans mmmmm. I like that fat, tasty big boy and his Rolex watches, mummy, he turns me on!
What is the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can't hear an enzyme.
If I smiled one centimeter each time I watched someone I hated die, I'd look like the Cheshire Cat.
Bick: Jesus isn't real.
Ron: Yes, He is.
Bick: Prove it, bitch.
Ron: Cussing is a sin. Open the curtains.
Bick: Wh-?
Ron: JUST DO IT, DAMMIT!
The sunlight shone through the window, landing on Ron and Bick. Both of them died and went to hell.
Ron: Fuck you, Jesus.
Bick: Told you Jesus was real.
Satan: Get to work, slaves.
Moral of the story: Stay off the marijuana.
There were two sisters. They said they were supporting nine eleven, so I shot one of the sister's kneecaps, and the other sister got shot in the head.
What's the difference between pizza deliveries and the Twin Towers?
Pizza deliveries get their orders right.
Why do oompa loompas secretly take Skinny Dips in Willy Wonka's chocolate?
They wanted some chocolate balls.
I had a disability where I kept pronouncing my "g" as an "r", so one day, I said I liked grapes. Of course, I pronounced it "I like rapes." I was kicked out of preschool.
Q: Why doesn't Jesus play hockey?
A: He hates getting nailed to the boards.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
Why can’t orphans have dad jokes? Because they don’t got one.
What has 4 legs and two gloves?
All five people on my baseball team. ⚾️
What is the difference between a frog and a trombone player?
The frog might be on his way to a gig!
The man was Indian. He moved to England because he wanted to learn, so got a job at the store. He learned how to say "register," then he was a business man. He learned how to say "59887," then "restaurant," so he learned how to say "fork and knives." So a man came with a knife. The cop came and asked the man which was the killer who killed him. He said, "Him," and pointed to the Indian man. The cop asked, "What did you use?" He said, "Register." The cop asked for ID. "59887." The cop asked, "Anything on you, forks and knife?" He said, "Me me me."