One day I threw a boomerang...
Now I live in constant fear.
My life is like a grenade... I pull off the ring and, BOOM, it explodes!
You know what would be the best last thing to say before you die? "No, you certainly can't." JFK's assassin certainly can!
My family is like an apple tree. My sister is that ugly one that has to rot in.
How can you make a woman scream your name when you have sex with her?
Change your name to "Rape."
Huh what you say?
Come fight me, suck a dick.
What does my uncle call a school?
A strip club.
I saw a kid crying today. I asked him where his parents were.
I love working at an orphanage.
My name is Myria, my right nut.
So last night I went on a taxi and I showed them your photo. All they said was I could ride him, it would be expensive though, since from his eyebrows to hairline is at least £100.
How does a cannibal like his meat?
Human.
Why can’t orphans play catch? They never had a dad to teach them
Somebody shouts "Fire!"
Man 1: Get the children out!
Man 2: F*** the children!
Man 3: We don't have time!
Therapist: What do you want to do when you grow up?
Me: Oh, I wan-
Therapist: Don’t say to be dead.
Me: Well, I want to be an entrepreneur. I want to sell land, pencils, oh yeah. I also want to sell farm.
Why shouldn't you let a Chinese person play baseball?
'Cause they'll eat the bat!
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
What do you call a blank piece of paper?
Women's rights.
brb makin' tic tac toe boards on myself.
Your mom is so small that she can fit in the luggage.
Yo mama is so fat, she can’t even fit in the suitcase.
