Worst Jokes Ever
I took my son to a driver's school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident."
(I gotta go pay him out of jail!)
Apple tried to make a car, but it had no windows ;)
A skeleton decided to become an assassin.
He was always skull-king around!
What is a skeleton’s favorite singer?
Pelvis Presley.
I got fired for not doing enough work.
Guess I didn’t put enough backbone into it.
Scratches on an icy road and kills 50 people on the bus, and when they get to Heaven, God feels so bad for them and grants them all one wish.
The first lady in the line was always worried about her looks, so she wished to be beautiful, and the guy behind her couldn’t think of what to wish about, so he also wished to be beautiful. This kept on going, but the guy at the end of the line started to laugh. When he got to God, God says, “What is your one wish, my son?” He said, “I wish you can make them all ugly again.”
Why did the blind woman get raped?
Because she didn't know she was wearing see-through clothes.
What brand of paint did Michael Jackson use to paint Neverland Ranch?
Dutch Boy.
An emo texted a tree, "Wanna hang out?"
The tree ghosted her.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Orphan.
Orphan who?
Orphan who needs a parent!
Why does the orphan like nature? He can call someone "mother."
Why does an orphan like church so much? So he can call someone "father."
I saw this kid sitting on the sidewalk and asked him where are his parents?
I love working at an orphanage.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that walks into a fire?
Hot Wheels.
Who is king of the pencils?
The ruler!
Why did the Lego cross the road? He was on the wrong block!
There are people who are beautiful, and then there are people whom I won't rape.
My dad died in the attacks. He was the best pilot Pakistan has ever seen, Allahu Akbar!
My dad died in the attacks. He was the best pilot for Pakistan.
I don't joke about 9/11 because I lost my dad. He was the best pilot I ever knew.