Worst Jokes Ever

What do you call a woman with one leg?

Eileen.

My peepee was big, now it's small.

So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging themselves? I guess they lost Hangman.

So I went to a church the other day and I asked my friend, "Is that painting of Jesus and is it through the wall with one with three nails?" Oh wait, I wasn’t even Jesus, he’s not doing the T post that he invented.

Did you hear about the midget who was beaten to death playing volleyball at a nudist colony?

Why is the Titanic good at baseball? Because it sinks it.

My friend: You really need to stop the SH jokes.

Me: But they're not that long.

Charger: Yo, Phone.

Phone: Yeah?

Charger: Can I plug all in you?

Phone: Ayooo!

When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.

When an orphan takes a selfie, it's a family photo.

My dad has the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

Someone in London is stabbed every two minutes. Poor guy.

I got the newest Call of Duty game! I got a 200 kill streak, then I went home and played COD.

So, Helen Keller walks into a bar... And then a table.

Jack and Jill went up the hill each with a buck and a quarter. Jill came down with $2.50 and Jack came down smiling.

What did the Titanic say while sinking?

"It's going down."

What’s 1+1?? The number of parents orphans don’t have!

What's an orphan's favorite part of a website?

The homepage.

Why don't orphans play GTA?

Because they're sad they don't get wanted!

Knock knock... Who's there? It's Jesus, let me in... Why? I have to save you... From what? From what I'm gonna do to you if you don't let me in.