Worst Jokes Ever
What’s the difference between a retard and a zombie? Nothing much, they both dribble, moan, are hungry, walk weirdly, and it takes a bullet in the head to put them both down.
Why was the belt arrested?
It held up a pair of pants.
Why didn't the dog want to play football??
'Cause he was a boxer!
I asked this kid for a high five, but he could not reach my hand.
Girl, are you a public school? Because I want to shoot my kids inside you.
What is the similarity between depressed people and hoodies?
The color black.
Not even the FBI knows where an orphan's parents are.
Your hairline is so far back you ain't got a fo'head, you got a five head!
Doctor: You should stop masturbating.
Me: Doc, I'm almost done.
Hello my fellow Canadians, I mean Americans. I, your cool and hip president, has decided to give everyone free ice cream! Even the Russians. Go out to your local ice cream shop and make sure to leave your kids at home!
The "f" on orphan stands for family.
What's the difference between an orphan and a vegetable?
The vegetable gets picked.
I'm Joe Biden's husband.
You've been hit by, You've been struck by, Planes!
Pickup lines in 2022 are like: "Are you Russia? Because your bombs are so big!"
How is the business in Ukraine? It's booming.
What’s the worst part of a vegetable?
A wheelchair.
What do an ice cream cone and a Ukrainian orphanage have in common?
Children scream when they melt.
What's the difference between China and New York City?
In China, the Asians ride ON the trains. In New York City, they usually end up riding UNDER them.
Wilt Chamberlain may have spread his seed among many women, but Kobe spread his brain matter all over California.