My wife said she wanted to leave me. She said it’s because of the abuse, but really, she’s the one abusing herself by drinking alcohol and got poisoning the next day. This shows almost half of the woman’s population is weak both physically and mentally.
Roses are red violets are blue poetry is gay and so r u
What's a cannibal's favourite drink?
A Bloody Mary.
Why do orphans don’t buy a keyboard, because they can’t use the home button
They never told us Humpty was an egg. A man died then!
Ganesha is a elephant
Hanuman is a monkey
Always breathing down my neck, my vampire girlfriend does not give me any space.
Do not ever make fun of people who look like they have no necks. They are fully protected from vampires.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came home with the milk.
My mum told me to take out the trash, but I couldn’t find you.
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Oh wait...
Towing ropes can't be learned. They must be taut.
Do you ever wonder why Michael from Halloween likes his mask so much? It's because he ad-Myers it.
What makes a depressed kid happy? ..... A bridge.
Little Johnny was in class, and his teacher asked, "How many of you guys are Trump fans?" Since the entire class wanted to be liked by the teacher, they all raised their hands, well, except Little Johnny. So the teacher asks, "Why are you being different again, Johnny?" So Little Johnny says, "Well, because I'm a Democrat. My mom is a Democrat, and my dad is a Democrat, so I'm a Democrat!" So then the teacher responds with, "Well, what if your mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?" Well, Little Johnny says, "A Trump fan!"
I can never get away from my dog, he follows me everywhere. I think you two would be really good friends.
your like a cat, all you do is eat and sleep.
Yo mama's so fat that when she went sky diving, she caused another global extinction.
Me: Are you an alien?
Friend: No.
Me: Yeah, because you're too ugly to be one.
