My girlfriend asked for a kiss, so I gave her my dick.
Why did Texas freeze to death? Because they're retarded.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I buttfucked Scooby Doo.
Why is Bill the bad guy?
Monica wanted to suck dick.
How do you find out if your kid is gay?
Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.
What is more used than plastic?
Hookers.
How did my dad know I was gay?
He stuck his cock in me and I liked it.
How do you kill a sheep?
You lamb shank it!
How do you fuck a cow?
Find the nearest Karen.
What do you call New York City?
A human zoo.
I don't like making jokes about 9/11... they tend to crash and burn.
What is soccer like when you lose your soccer ball?
Orphan: "My Parents."
What did the other wave say to the other wave?
"Nothing, they just waved!"
I was making fun of an orphan, then I realized he tracked me down. I made a bad decision. He was Batman!
How old are 9/11 victims?
"There, toddlers, here come the airplane!"
Kid: I got homework.
Mom: Ok, so?
Kid: I got a F in my balls.
Kid: I need help!
Mom: Help your balls.
What happens if you play with Santa’s ball? You get a white Christmas.
If you play FNF, I play a game because he has two balls, boi.
Dam, sometimes when I look at my friend's head, I say, "Dam, that's a dam big head, Nick." Then he is like, "Dude, that's a literal dam."
