Worst Jokes Ever
What Football Club does Mason Greenwood play for?
Prison FC
I have an Uncle named Ricky, who made ur mom sticky.
His dad calls him pricky and everyone begs for his dicky.
Balls in your jaws.
You look like the type of guy to wash his/her hands after a shower! (And don't write in the comments that there are more than 2 genders.)
Q: Why doesn’t Jimmy Swaggart worry about his premature ejaculation problem?
A: He believes in the second cumming.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I pray God I'm not so ugly as you.
Period: Guess who’s back... back again...
Me: Ugh, can we not do this today?
Period: I can come back in 9 months?
Me: Keep fucking singing.
A hobo couple is making out under a bridge.
The girlfriend goes: - Johnny, why is your dick so soft? - Flip me over, I’m trying to shit!
- Got myself a bathroom scale so now I know exactly how much I poop.
- Right. So you weigh yourself before and after you poop and calculate the difference? That’s cool.
- Oh...that might actually be even easier.
What does a blind man and your dick have in common?
They both can’t get up without a dog.
If your nose runs and your feet smell, you are probably built upside down.
Your mother is so fat, she actually went on a diet and started exercising, and I hear she's doing quite well now.
Good Morning, Sleepy-Head!
Me: A lot of things changed since I got my wife pregnant.
Friend: Like what?
Me: My name, my address, my phone number...
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne?
Acne waits until you're 13 to come on your face.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they all beat the room for being black.
Hardest part about being a paedophile?
Fitting in.
Did you know pigeons die after sex?
Well, at least the one I fucked did.
What do you call two transgender midgets having sex?
A microtransaction.
I used to work for a company called 69. My friend took over my position.