Once in 4th grade, right now, I told a random tree, "Hey, my day is bad right now, can we hang later?"
The tree said: "Yeah, we are going to be hanging every day :) !!! If you can last :)"
Worst Jokes Ever
I tried to have phone sex once.
But the holes were too small.
A sandwich walks into a bar.
Bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."
So I walk into a bar, and there’s people waiting in line to punch me in the face.
That’s the punch line.
So, I heard the CEO gave her daughter a really good spot in the company.
Everyone is mad, but I think it just goes to show that it pays to sleep with your boss.
What's the difference between Clark Kent and chicken noodle?
One is Super. The other is just soup.
Why can't an orphan have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy."
My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years.
I told him my dad never came back with it.
What do a Family Dollar and an orphan have in common? They both have a "f" in "family."
I'm sorry and I apologize mean the same thing, except at a funeral.
I always knew that Maranda Sings was orbiting Uranus.
How come your sister is hotter than you? Funny, huh?
When Kobe's pilot hit the mountain, he said, "Kobe."
Why did the female orphan become a prostitute?
Because she wanted someone to call "daddy".
How often do emos go swimming in a lifetime?
Just once.
Why did one emo say to the other?
"I like your cuts, G."
What goes in hard and comes out soft? A toothbrush.
Latias is red.
Latios is blue.
You should always remember to put up your curtains because I Pikachu.
My friend group is pretty diverse. I'm Japanese, one friend is Filipino, one is American, one is Italian, and the last one is German.
Out of everyone in the friend group, the Filipino and the American were the quickest to feel uncomfortable when I asked, "Who wants to go on a march with me?"
Where are your parents? Oh, behind you? Not any more.
