Má ég fara heim?
(In an infant-esque voice.)
The Mexican landscaper came to cut our lawn. My mom was happy then asked him, "Can I have some of your burrito?" He said, "Yeah." I said, "Whatever."
A few minutes later, my mom told me to cut the lawn. I said, "Why do I have to do it? That's what he's there for." My mom said, "He's going to do the burrito for me." Then I said, "Okay." I finished cutting the lawn and went in the house. I see my mom giving the landscaper a blow job. I said to my mom, "What are you doing?" My mom said, "What does it look like? I'm having my burrito." The landscaper told me that I missed a spot while cutting the lawn.
One day it was me and my sister in the house. My sister said to me, "Let's order food." I said, "We have no money." My sister said, "It's cool; we're just going to order egg rolls from the Chinese store. I know the delivery boy, and he won't charge us." I said, "Cool."
The delivery boy came with the egg rolls. I took some and ate mine in my room. I went back in the kitchen. I see my sister giving the delivery boy a blow job. I ask, "What are you doing?" My sister replied back to me, "You had your egg rolls; let me enjoy mine." Then the delivery boy said, "Don't no charge."
Why is the difference between an orphan and a bandit? Ones wanted
Guys, stop making jokes about orphan's parents.
Who will be told? Oh wait.
I saw a robbery at the Apple store.
Am I an iWitness?
The inventor of the umbrella was just going to call it "brella," but he hesitated.
What happened to the guy who tried to catch fog?
He mist.
I told an orphan that I watch Family Guy, and he seemed disappointed, so I reminded him that he has no family.
Guess what song this is from:
"I'll cut you into little bitty pieces,
Or freeze you till your blood runs cold,
Or stab your till' you heart stops pumping.
I'm here to realize your wish from what I'm told."
Caca.
Once in 4th grade, right now, I told a random tree, "Hey, my day is bad right now, can we hang later?"
The tree said: "Yeah, we are going to be hanging every day :) !!! If you can last :)"
I tried to have phone sex once.
But the holes were too small.
A sandwich walks into a bar
Bartender says sorry we don't serve food here
So I walk into a bar, and there’s people waiting in line to punch me in the face.
That’s the punch line.
So, I heard the CEO gave her daughter a really good spot in the company.
Everyone is mad, but I think it just goes to show that it pays to sleep with your boss.
What's the difference between Clark Kent and chicken noodle?
One is Super. The other is just soup.
Why can't an orphan have sex? They have no one do call daddy
My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years.
I told him my dad never came back with it.
What do a family dollar and a orphan they have a f in it for family
