Worst Jokes Ever

There's going to be a party at the orphanage tonight. I'm bringing a gun.

What do blind kids and orphans have in common? I fucking hate their whiny asses and beat them up.

Your hairline is so far back that when I wrote it on a chalkboard, it did not erase.

Chuck Norris makes the living room the dying room!

Why did the orphan die?

He killed himself because the lack of a support system made him depressed.

A bully told an orphan to cry to his parents, so he did.

His adoptive parents were very supportive about the situation, and everything was settled. He died in an accident a day later.

Why did I beat up the orphan? Because he was a whiny bitch who wouldn't shut the fuck up.

Why did the orphan cry? Because he was an orphan and he watched his parents die.

A man ate a bee to mechanical sexting, but he was to be, uh, sex. Bee vagina penis, he want sex but [is] dumb.

"FUCK FUCK FUCK MY CLOTHES CAUGHT THE FLAME OH MY GOD IT BURNS SO MUCH!"

"911, I just crashed my car. I think it's burning. I can't see. It hurts to breathe."

"FUCK IT HURTS SO BAD PLEASE SEND AN AMBULANCE I CAN'T BREATHE (I am Paul Walker btw)"

*Coughs roughly* Oh my God, it hurts so much. I can't see. It burns! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! *Weakly*

What was the orphan's favorite TV show?

Full House.

What was the orphan's favorite cartoon show?

"Fairly OddParents."

Me: Hey, do you want to see my grandma?

Friend: Yeah, sure.

Me: *pulls out gun*

I just got kicked out of the fucking library for putting the women's rights in the fiction section.

Don't you just hate when you have to eat cereal with water because your dad won't bring the fucking milk? Cause same.

Give a blind kid a torch and tell him it's a hairdryer.

Why did UK want Northern Ireland for more s***?