Worst Jokes Ever
Stephen Hawking was a bit of a hardcase. He didn't let people push him around.
Stephen Hawking is to wheelchairs like Uncle Ben is to rice.
There were ten in the bed and the little one said... "Roll over..."
If Stephen Hawking was a boxer, he would roll with the punches.
For sale: Wheelchair, one careful owner, no longer needed.
I can't walk, I can't talk, but I can drive a wheelchair.
Stephen Hawking walks, I mean rolls into a bar.
Stephen Hawking prefers rolls to slices of bread.
Could never understand why people would say Stephen Hawking is a dead man walking.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
It's me. I can't get in because Stephen Hawking is in the way.
Knock knock. Who's there? Stephen Hawking. Wheelie?
What does E.T. stand for? Because he has little legs.
What does S.H. stand for? He doesn't.
What does S.H. stand for? Shit happens.
Stephen Hawking's best subjects were Physics and Maths. His worst was P.E.
What color is Stephen Hawking's house?
It's a bungalow.
Stephen Hawking was a spac. But if you put an E on the end, you get space, and he loved that.
What does Stephen Hawking and a prostitute have in common?
They both charge.
On one hand he was fantastic and the other a spastic. You could say he was a fantastic spastic.
Dick in my mouth.
I found a rock at the park. I threw it at some orphans.
What would they do? Go to their family?
Any 8 year old: Sus!
Me: Jake, we're at a funeral!