What are the similarities between orphans and unripe strawberries?
None of them get picked.
Worst Jokes Ever
I hit a ball with a bat, it was called animal abuse.
How do you spell ihop?
Then spell ihop and say "ness".
Why can't orphans get a job?
Because they don't have a home.
Why can't a Leicester fan pull girls? He can only do the fox trot.
A kid decided to burn his house down.
His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."
A boy tried to give a tree a high-five, but instead, he ended up hanging.
We have decided to delete this part of this site on 10/24/2022.
THIS IS A RHYME
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said you know you wanna.
Jill said yes as he grabbed her dress,
and they had a little fun.
Jill forgot her pills so now they have a son.
How many emos does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they just sit there and cry in the dark.
Today was the worst day ever. My ex got ran over by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
Why did the panda cross the road to get to the bamboo house?
So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.
Me be straight and bored.
Goes to my local bar which has a glory hole.
Out up spending the rest of the night there.
About to leave when, motherfucker, I realize I've been sucking a guy's cock this whole time.
):
Fred says, "Have you heard the rumor about butter?"
Bob says, "Umm no."
Fred then says, "Ah, okay then I won't spread it."
ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG
Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.
Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.
Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.
I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.
I got caught peeing in the pool.
The lifeguard blew his whistle so hard I nearly fell in!
If your blind girlfriend says you have a big cock, she's probably just pulling your leg.
Where are the best shooting ranges in America?
Used to be in schools, but now in subways.
I hate salmonella.
It is such a pain in the butt.
