Worst Jokes Ever

One day Little Johnny saw his grandpa smoking a cigar. Johnny said, "Can I have a puff?"

Grandpa said, "Can your dick touch your ass?"

Johnny said, "No, then that's your answer."

Later that day, Johnny saw his grandpa drinking a drink. Johnny said, "Can I have a sip?"

Grandpa said the same thing, "Can your dick touch your ass?"

Johnny said, "No, then that's your answer."

Later that night, Johnny was eating some cookies in the kitchen. Grandpa said, "Hi son, can I have a cookie?"

Johnny said, "Can your dick touch your ass?"

Grandpa said, "Yes."

Johnny said, "Good, go fuck yourself!"

What do you call a man with no head? Airhead.

What is an orphan's favorite superhero? Batman.

Peter: Curses!

Jacob: Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

Peter: *Crying*

Jacob: Why are you crying?

Jacob: Whatever. *Leaves orphanage*

What do Ligma and Bofa have in common?

They both ride on my dick.

If I had 10 dino nuggies and Jamal tried to take one, I would have ten dino nuggies and Jamal's head.

NASA stands for "Nobody asks scientists anymore."

What is the worst animal to play cards with? A cheater.

Ted stinks!

Why did the orphan cross the road and stop in a lane? To get run over.

My dad killed Hitler.

Kenneth's hairline [is] friends with Moses.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Chicken.

Chicken who?

Are you chicken me????!!!!

What's the difference between a good TV show and a gay man?

One makes your day and one makes your whole week.

My ex-girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus driver's license.

Me sais yes to mom when she seis wha is 1 plus 1 and me is says NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! looooooooooooooooooolllolololololol

Why can't an orphan have sex?

They have no one to call "daddy."

My dad said he'd get the milk, but he forgot I was in his car.

When you wear a big hat and your butt starts to splat diarrhea!

My job is so amazing.

Today a man asked me to check his balance, so I pushed him over. His balance isn't good.