Worst Jokes Ever

The FitnessGramTM Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20-meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.

Level 1 Feel it One Two Three Four Five Six Seven; end of level one.

When I was younger, I went to an Indian convenience store to pick up a lottery ticket. When the cashier handed me the ticket, she told me to "hold it properly." So I ripped the red dot right off of her forehead.

Why does the emo kid skip class?

We all know that Lincoln and Kennedy are the most open-minded presidents in the world.

Like if you hate going to school.

Why can't orphans play baseball? Because there's no home.

What is the difference between an apple tray and an orphan? The apples get picked.

If I saw a homosexual or transsexual man do so much as TOUCH my child, he would be dead, zombified, and castrated by the end of the day.

Protect your young'uns from these degenerate freaks and live off the grid so they have no bearing on your life.

My friend showed me his broken finger, and I said, "JESUS!" He said his name is Jake.

Yeah, Eli is hot.

My father touched me yesterday. I called him a priest.

My Emo friend was coming over to my house. When he got there, he said, "Got a rope?" I asked why, and he said, "I want to make a swing."

What do a deaf person and an orphan have in common? Neither of them can hear their parents.

An orphan asked if they could move into my house yesterday. I said, "Don't you have a family?"

You are so fat, you are fatter than the fattest.

You are a fat pig.

You are so cat.

You are so dumb.

You are so blind, even a spider can see better than you.

You got a pig head!

Your head is so small, even a fly could eat it.